Many years ago, while still a young medical student in NYC, during my regular forays into the self-help and alternative healing sections of my neighborhood bookstore in Manhattan, I stumbled upon a jewel of a book which still is part of my treasured library. I have gifted this book many times and shared it with so many friends, family members, and clients. The book came to my mind yesterday as I was reflecting on the usefulness of anger along our journey.
While this book was written by a woman for leading other women to a sense of authentic wholeness and holiness that emerges from within, I recalled a part of this book which I believe can deeply resonate for men and women alike. Here is what Judith shares about anger:
“How might it have been different for you, if, early in your life, the first time you as a tiny child felt your anger coming together inside yourself, someone, a parent or grandparent, or older sister or brother, had said, “Bravo! Yes, that’s it! You’re feeling it!”
If, the first time you had experienced that sharp awareness of ego, of “me, I’m me, not you” … you had been received and hugged and affirmed, instead of shamed and isolated?
If someone had been able to see that you were taking the first tiny baby step towards feeling your own feelings, of knowing that you saw life differently from those around you.
If you had been helped to experience your own uniqueness, to feel the excitement of sensing, for the very first time, your own awareness of life.
What if someone had helped you to own all of this … to own your own life?
How might it be different for you?“
How this book helped me
Judith’s words comforted me deeply when I first read them. I was a young medical student longing to find my place of healing within a traditional Western medical system that often left me feeling frustrated, lonely, and confused. I also was a young woman struggling to reconcile the seeming conflicts between my traditional Indian upbringing with my desire for something else.
In my early 20s, I had no idea of what that even looked like but certainly my feeling of anger and frustration were guiding me to “experience (my) own uniqueness, to feel the excitement of sensing, for the very first time, (my) own awareness of life.” Judith’s words gave me permission to honor my deep desire to own my own life.
Perhaps, my life has turned out differently than most medical doctors because Judith’s book and her message helped me to believe in myself so I could cultivate a more expansive way of seeing healing outside the traditional medical model. I would reach for her her book whenever I faced seeming crossroads in my life- not just while assessing my options in my professional life but also my personal life. Her book and her wisdom became one of my mighty companions along my life path.
How this book might help you
So, what if the anger you feel is here to help you clarify something for yourself that can no longer be suppressed? A deep knowing that you need not keep yourself locked in a prison of the beliefs, ideas, and concepts that simply no longer serve.
Perhaps the burning anger within and the hot, stinging tears are here to tell you that you can find another way to live. That you are worthy of love, joy, peace, and happiness. Not because of something you need to accomplish or change in the outside world. But because that is your birthright.
Spend time with your Inner Teacher. Ask to be shown what is underneath the anger. Perhaps, there is a song not yet sung, a painting waiting to be drawn, or a conversation that can be spoken from a space of self-acceptance and allowance of ourselves as unique beings all marching to our own inner drum. We are not here to change anyone but we can take responsibility to express ourselves honestly and with authenticity.
A movie that carries us through the journey of anger
If you feel inspired to watch a movie that chronicles beautifully a family’s journey through the dark shadows of anger into healing, love, and light, then you can read about The Upside of Anger in part 3 of my blog post I wrote a few years ago. It is still amazingly relevant today.
The upside of anger
Perhaps there is truly an ‘upside’ to anger – if we are willing to allow it to burn away resistance, old patterns and structures in our life that no longer serve. Perhaps the upside to anger can only be discovered if we allow ourselves to take the courage to move through the anger and not be paralyzed by fear of the anger.
Zoom online group meeting and registration
Perhaps you would like to connect live and meet with other mighty companions from all over the world who are also feeling inspired to deeply look at their relationship to anger. You can sign up to join for our zoom circle being held on Thursday April 30th at 11am EDT. We will join in healing, sharing our experiences, and gather for meditation/prayer as well. I know it will be a heart-opening and healing session for us all!
To reserve your spot, please send payment for $20 here. Once I receive your payment, I will add you to the list of participants and you will receive the zoom details the night before the online gathering.
If you prefer to pay via check, you can make it payable to Seema Khaneja and mail to PO Box 18373, Rochester, NY 14618. Let me know you plan to do this so I can add your list to the participant list.
If you feel inspired to attend the online gathering but need some financial help, there are some scholarships available so please email me soon so we can secure your spot. Also, if you feel inspired to pay-it-forward, and sponsor someone to attend who might not be able to attend otherwise, please let me know as well.
Thank you for those that have already registered. I am so looking forward to ‘seeing’ you all on Thursday!
Images by Leroy Skalstad , ambroo, Larisa Koshkina, and Somchai Sumnow from Pixabay
